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Tuesday, February 3, 2015

love handles

Bang Bang! A violent thrust on the door.

'Hold on,' she says. I'll be with you now.

She wraps a towel around her waist, expensive waist which she always get praised for, An hour glass waist called LOVE HANDLES in street terms. She reached for the door handle, sunk the key into a knob's keyhole and twisted it either direction and pulled the knob to open the door.

To her shock, his husband just wheezed past her without either pecking her on the neck, side of her face, forehead or whatever place imaginable. A hello would have calmed her nerves after all those cheating and gay rumours she had heared about her man from people she barely knew.

He went straight to the lounge unit, flapped its doors open and reached for a bottle of vodka.

'What's it my love?' she asks.

'Is it you who called my workplace and told my manager that I haven't been sleeping at home?'

'No. Why on earth would I do that?'

'He's been on my case the whole day and I think one of these days, he'll hear from one of my good lawyers.'

'Arg, come on, maybe a meeting with you both and your CEO will help both of you a great deal. Write to senior management and tell him how his behaviour is impacting on your production.'

'Thanks. That's the best advise I ever got from anyone including you for a very long time.'

He placed an empty glass on the coffee table and stood up.

'Don't you tell me that you won't be sleeping at home today too.'

'You see, just like I'd thought.......'

'Okay, I admit, it's I who told him that you aren't sleeping at home. Your parents too know what you've been up to all these years. If you dare walk out of that door, you should know that you and I are through. I've already packed my clothes up and am waiting for you to give me a hint to whether you're prepared to patch this marriage of ours up or are ready to go intertain another cheap slut who'll further drag our family name into the mud.'

'You know what my love......'

'What?'

'I'm heading to the office to brainstorm ideas with my manager. Even if he could remind me about how I'm mistreating you, I don't care.'

To her surprise he slumps himself on the couch, picks up the glass he had been drinking with and tells her:; 'Love, do you mind going to the unit and filling this up?'

She smiles and replies; 'No. Not at all.'

He pulls up his phone from his shirt pocket, dials a number.

'Hello honey bunch,' so says a female voice by the other end of the phone line.

'Call me by my name.'

'Why? What happened?'

'I no longer need you in my life. Didn't I tell you when we first met that I'm a married man?'

'You did you cheat. I'm going to sue you for having had wasted my time and for having abused me financially and emotionally.'

'I didn't force you to. So you'll have to prove all of that in a court of law failing which I and my wife are going to sue you for dragging our good family name into muddy waters.'

He hangs up on her.

'Who's that and what does he want?' asks his wife.

'It's the woman who I don't love. Just because we shared drinks during our company's year end party, doesn't make her my girlfriend.'

'I think I know who she is. She drives a red cabriolet. I got a clue from the way she has changed from greeting me to looking at I like I'm something she just emitted. You know through what.....'

'Her rear.'

'Yeah, that's it. I'm glad that we're through the needless nightmare and all that I'm asking for is a night out with our friends to show haters that we're as strong as ever.'

'I like that. It'll happen sooner than you can say holiday. Now come over here.'

They snuggled and kissed. problems of yesterday forgotten quickly that night. A first night in thousands that she had to cry herself to sleep sipping alcohol--whatever she could at the time lay her beautiful hands on.

'Hello?' he replies.

'It's I again. The only thing that'll be enough to split you and I is death. I'll make sure that you and your wife don't have quality time together. One way or the other.'

'I'm not scared of either you or your lawyer. I owe any of you nothing now if you don't mind, my wife and I would love to make love.'

'I don't know I've bothered calling you. Sex is the only thing that you ever think of. No wonder the gay rumours. I'll be ashamed if I was a man your age and woman young and old still thought my bed sharing lack with other women besides my wife might be as a result of I betting for the other gender.'

He laughs then hangs up on her. He cannot believe that she could go as low as thinking that he is maybe a homosexual, just because he does not feel like bedding her anymore. But they do sting him as he asks his wife for some breathing space as he drinks one glass of vodka after the other.
‘What’s wrong my love?’ he shocked wife asks him.
‘It’s Lilian again and this time she has pushed me so hard and far that I think I’m left with no option but to sue her ass. ‘
‘What did she say to you?’
‘Says the only reason I’ve come back to our matrimonial home is due to scathing public’s gay rumour.’
‘Who does she think she is to talk rubbish about us?’
‘I don’t know just yet but, I regret every day I lied to you just to be with her.’
‘Don’t worry my love, I love you forever.’

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