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Tuesday, November 19, 2013


ALL THE WAY 4                                                                                                      SUCKER

Sucker! Tanya speaks loudly to startle Bill.

'What?' he replies.

'Okay. I Finally got you to talk. Desiree thinks she's clever than any of us. Did you see that pink cab that tailed us from the theatre to home?'


'I think It was her and Carlos.'

'It wasn't she but, he.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I'm tired of sleeping alone.'

'You gave my enemy an upper hand. She now has him wrapped between her wolfy fingers. Not so long ago, she stole my beloved target Mark. Lied to him she was pregnant in order to keep me at bay. Her plan failed as he got a bursary to go study overseas. To this day, I don't know which lucky charm she's using to keep men reaching out to her. Whoever is helping her, she's paying him or her quiet well.'


'Stop joking. This is very serious. We then challenged each other to lay our hands on an award winning travel writer and she almost won. If I hadn't followed my instincts, he will be eating off her palms right now. The dude is now angry with us and make sure scribes write rubbish about us every week. Only If I hadn't caught her quickly pulling her top back to her waist, her two centrimetres dress back to its measured length.'

'Weren't they doing four play?'

'No. Nothing happened. You should have seen their glistening eyes. They sparkled like Northern stars tailed by holy sheperds to go shower the family of you know who with presents. The roar of my engine only meant I was going to a convenience store to buy ourselves some more beers.'

'Why didn't you let them be human?'

'I had forgot my lighter, dammit!'

'I doubt that.'

'This is my house and I do whatever I want to, anytime I want to. That's why it was easy for I last night to leave the upstart at a cinema's parking lot and gave you cake. Bower has been investigated for plagiarism by the media fraternity but, nothing happened. He has since been hired by Daily Times, Sunday Press's daily sister to run a weekly column. I haven't read something fresh out of it, only reviews from other peoples work but, as always, the world reckon he's the best thing since sliced bread.'

'One lucky bastard!'

'I miss Carlos Hernandez.'

'I'm here. Don't beef up now.'

'You're here but like the O'Jays song, your mind is on the other side of town.'

'I get the picture and I'll respond to it in due course.'

Monday, November 18, 2013


ALL THE WAY 3                                                                                                       WHAT?

'Why haven't you been answering your phone?' Desiree asks a bemused Carlos.

'I saw a blue light brigade,' he replies. And thought to myself, what's the easiest way in this town to avoid being, robbed, kicked or at worst, mistaken for thug and shot at.'

'What a nasty way to avoid a straight forward question.'

She pushes him to the side and casually slumps her tired self on his couch. Fix her eyes on a blank tv-screen.

Having sold his soul to the Sunday Press, he had no more good life stories to tell about their life together. Like he lied to her at the cinema. He knew if he opened his mouth anytime soon, worms would spill out from his mouth like it was a can.Like the saying. He was right. People in the media bear grudges. They want almost every situation to go their way. He flips the curtain, smiles at the expensive car neatly parked on his driveway. His outside-door lights, streetlights, passing vehicles lights, beams on its immaculate frame.

She desperately wants him to say something but, he keeps his eyes glued on the malt beer bottle he is sipping on.

Irate, she hops off his couch, heads his way. Slaps him hard on one side of his cheek. The beer bottle drops violently and thuds on the hard surface. He touches, it painfully while watching her helping herself out of his lounge's door.

He goes to the fridge, opens it, fishes out another beer bottle, same ingredients, same alcohol volume and slumps his frustrated self on a couch. Flips the curtains again, there she is idly sitting on her vehicle's seat, measuring the steering wheel.

At least she isn't drinking and driving, he thoughtfully says.

Animated, he courageously walks towards her, knocks on her car's side of the window.

She opens the windows and yawn.

'Look,' he says.'I didn't mean to two time you. We both know Tanya wont like this.'

She cackles.

'Who will tell her?' she continues.

'These streets have eyes. Walls have ears.'

'You look worried today.'

'I thought I'd sleep alone tonight.'

'Me too.'



'If I had to be charged for committing a crime. It'd be for stealing your heart.'

'Tanya is doing Bill as we speak.'


sullen looks

 ALL THE WAY 2                                                                                      SULLEN LOOKS

A car screeches before Tanya's doorstep. She is frothing at the mouth--especially after what happened to hers and her date at the epic romance movie premiere. The other thing on her mind are hyena tail burning thugs who may pick you up asleep as the tail's smell lulls into a deep sleep, not forgetting the drunk drivers who hit community walls at high speed.

Desiree hops off her vehicle and quips;' Do you know why I love you so much?'

Tanya barely believes the figurine before her is this dude whom she has been friend of almost a quarter of her life.

'No!' she replies.

'I was busy making new bookings for four for upcoming weekend. Then, boom! Like magic, I see Carlos idling alone on the parking lot. Like a caring mother, I wonder where parents of this beautiful, lost boy are. I think about snapping my finger and calling him to my car.'

'You're a thug and a liar. I shouldn't have listened to any word you said. As we speak now, I know there are no movie tickets, no bookings, nothing. If you want him, you could have him. If he was honest with me, he could've waited for us to go fetch him at his doorstep.'

'No stress on my part. You have plenty to worry about. Especially when I heared Bill happily moaning over your handset.'

'It's on, babes?'


'Men war. I'm sharpening my claws. Any man you get, I'll lure him to my bed. I wont give a damn about his past. It's on!'

'What on earth have you become?'

'A nun.'

Irritated, Desiree hops back on her car's seat and slams the door shut. Her actions startles onlookers and passersby. Arrives at Carlos's house who, judging by his sullen looks, is not expecting her there.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

all the way

When they voluntarily go outside, almost everyone has got their eyes locked on them--expecting them to slug it out.

'Girl,' says Tanya. I thought you were a nun. What's up with your hands all over my hubby to be?'

'I didn't poach him,' Desiree replies. He found me queueing outside and decided right there on the spot, that he would like to accompany me. This means he cancelled my Be eF eFs date to spend some time with me. I never knew you were around town, therefore, I thought borrowing him from the gods for a sec couldn't be such a bad idea.'

'Not such a bad idea?'

'Yes. Your friends are mine and mine are yours. I'm the one who always remind you about keeping boundaries. Have you already forgotten where you and I are coming from?'

'No.You see,as you're very close friend I thought since you knew he was mine, you'd give me a courtesy call and tell me your man is right here beside me.'

'I'm sorry.'

' I love Carlos and you know that.'

'I've been observing your lover for a while. One thing I've noticed is that he isn't in it for the love of you or any of us for that matter but, for what our glitzy industry could offer him. Do you think I'm bluffing?'


'Just look at how many gigs he got for himself the past couple of months while we got only two each. It seems he capitalises on the fact that, he's a drama student and people aren't clued up on whether he's for real or is just acting things out.'

'If is that so, publications would be all over us this week. Tomorrow is a Sunday. Expect our mini cinema drama on first pages.'

Desiree fishes her cellphone out of her denim pocket and says; ' We're thirty minutes behind the movie schedule. Let's go in.'

They swiftly walk in and seat side by side next to their dates. There's neither kissing nor touching because they are just as confused as their dates.

The movie ends. Everyone still does not know what to do.

Bill tells Carlos  he is nothing but his girlfriends chauffeur, who runs straight to her vehicle and locks herself in when she anticipatingly watch them chatting. She is pensive and expects them to exchange blows but none of that is happening as they go their separate ways. Her girlfriend forever is hiding somewhere within the vicininty.

She and her date finally arrive at home. A call flashes accross her cellphone screen. It is he Be eF eF.

'Hello?' she answers.

'Am I interrupting something over there?'

'Yes. Bill wants to have a time of his life or isn't it, love?'


Carlos is disgusted and ignores any incoming call, any Blackberry Messenger message on his cellphone's inbox. He had followed what he now calls his ex in thought, all the way to her house in a metered taxi. Painfully observed when a chauffeur looked more like Tanya's one night stand. They were all over each other like a bad rash. He shed a tear and a half, called her name out, got ignored.

Unimpressed, he called a Sunday newspaper and asked her to make his misfortune a front page sensation. He could not stomach the fact that, a seemingly, not so glamourous dude, had stolen his guiding light right under his nose under false pretence and, will most likely, lie next to her, on a bed he got accustomed to.